I know you will never receive this letter. Setting things out to see like this, it has little hopes of an actual return. But maybe that is why I write it now, in this fashion, and send it on its way. I don’t mean for you to read them, though I need to say them. Perhaps I will speak them one day.
There is speak of missing things, of a flower missing the sun in the cold of winter. But what am I to a flower, surely to compare thee to a sun would be no trouble, but I am not of such a nature. I am a wolf, in essence and being, and you, just as eloquently, are night and all mysteries within. Thus I miss you like the a wolf stuck in eternal day, left with no moon to howl to, no stars to slowly lead him into dreams and fantasies.
This is how I feel when you are gone, this is how I will continue to feel until again the warmth of our presence is able to intermingle with one another. I can’t say what will help me pass the time, I know not if this letter will be my last - but the day grows old and I grow tired, sleep will come for me soon, though I know the dreams shan’t. Not in their fullness.
For I think never shall I dream again quite the same, there is not that can compare when one has come true.
With all the love my howl my carry,
is it obsession
that i worry when you
dont text me back
or just the deep care
i feel for your well being?
is there a difference?
i find myself either too sad or too tired to write, and when I am not I am caught in moments of happiness I can’t seem to hold on to. It all falls through the broken pieces. I’m broken.
He came home today, it is probably the first time in weeks. I was home as well, on a holiday break. I’d heard of what happened but I hadn’t seen the full force of the damage until now. He needed food, so I fed him. He needed a place to sleep, so I gave him the couch. But this isn’t my war, I’m not picking a side. I’m not declaring either an ally. I stand apart from it. I see an injured man who has done nothing to earn my hatred. She will be returning home soon, I don’t know if I should wake him and tell him to leave. I probably should, for his own good. But I’m dying for a fight - even if it is not my own. There is a better way to go about this all, but what can I do when one side will not yield, and the other too easily flees. Is it my place to act upon these forces? Should I step in, or continue to aid the sick that fall into my path, the wounded, the disgraced. I do not know, but the time is approaching, and the decision only mine to take.
falling in love
a family fall apart
are two things
that should not be
I didn’t plan any of this, then again I don’t think any of us really do. Things went sour with the other. I don’t think they were ever very good, I was trying too hard and that wasn’t okay. What a grand difference I see now, how I am inspired with every thought. There is no struggle, there is no energy, it comes naturally. That is what I was looking for I think. It’s indescribable, which is why I could never tell anyone. A muse I guess. That is what she is. Making me happy. Making me better. Making me whole. But that all sounds so selfish. Maybe that is the catch, we have to be willing to be a bit selfish. Besides, making her smile couldn’t be more satisfying. I like caring for her. I like talking to her. I like laying with her wrapped in my arms. They all think I’m nuts, she probably does too, but it’s magical. It’s the magic I’ve wielded for so long. It’s coming to life.
what if i told you
all the things i never thought
letting the words flow
from parted lips
like a river
what would i say
how would you know
of all the things to come of such
i think perhaps in most
you should know more
how much i hate the world
and how deeply i love you
of separation between us
feeling the time pass
slowly pulling at my skin
muscles strain as physic’s forces
tempt to tear away under the strain
one muscle, still without damage
beating triumphantly under soul’s condition
distance - concept of mind, body - the soul,
missing piece without explanation, knows
nothing dare divide where two have danced
among stars burning night skies
always, the stars are the same, as she
gazes through orion great hunter
as i struggle, seeking the dipper little
I have fallen in love
with my work
for my affection
and I would rather
give it to her.